How
to focus on the positive qualities of your relationship
By Sonia
Devine
The
quality of your life has a strong connection with how
healthy your relationship with other people is. Do you
struggle to make other people see things your way? Well
stop trying, because you can’t manipulate others. Why?
Well, just like you, they are operating from their own
map of the world. What you CAN do is develop a habit of
paying attention to the positive aspects of your
relationship.
If
you are distressed by your relationships, then you need
to change the way in which you react to the behaviour of
others. If you hold a belief that you will only be happy
when the other person changes, it’s time to get real,
because:
*** The Buck Stops With You. ***
Think about someone in your life; Are you paying
attention to the qualities you think that person is
lacking? For example, maybe you think: “If only he was
tidier, more attentive to me, more loving, etc…”?
Whatever you put your attention on expands. If you only
notice the things that annoy you about others, or if you
focus on what you think they are not doing right, then
you will only experience more of the behaviour that you
are trying to avoid!
Try this exercise:
Think about this specific person, and write down the
qualities you admire in them. Take the time to remember
what drew you to them in the first place. Maybe they are
great at making you laugh…they could be a good listener,
or have a talent for organising things and events.
Whatever you like about this person, write it onto a
list! And then look at this list every day.
By doing this, you shift your subconscious attention
onto the positive aspects of the relationship and you
will start to experience even more of these qualities
that you like! Your relationship will improve and the
other person will start to become more loving, open and
receptive towards you as well.
What About Those Things You Don't Like?
Okay, then. What really annoys you about others? Do you
get upset by arrogant people? Or maybe people who cannot
be assertive really make your blood boil. Whatever it is
that bothers you, you must understand this:
We criticize in others the very qualities that we
dislike most about ourselves
We are all connected to a Universal consciousness. When
you look at another person, you are also looking at a
version of yourself. Learn to see yourself in the
reflection of others, and you will become more tolerant
of what you see as their negative qualities. And
remember, other people, are always a mirror to you.
If you want a great relationship, you need to pay
attention to the way you react to people. And most
importantly, treat others as you would like to be
treated. You have the ability to create a happy,
fulfilling relationship, and if you learn to see
yourself in others, you will find yourself becoming more
and more open to experiencing the good qualities those
people.
Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist
and success coach with a caring and committed approach
to healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can
find more of her information on ego, self image, love,
relationships, phobias and much more on her website
http://www.manifest-your-success.com
Article source:
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