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 Romance and Marriage in later
years...and the vows I will make this time
by Daniel Hines
Editor/Publisher
America's Seniors
The thought of getting married at almost
62 years old, after more than a decade of widowhood that was preceded by
more than 30 years of marriage, is something that at one time in my life
that would have seem at the best highly unlikely and at the worst,
unthinkable.
Yet, on October 6, 2001, one week before
my 62nd birthday, I shall be doing exactly that.
Ordinarily, I leave the columns on
relationships to Ralph Burns, but I feel compelled to go on the record
about this relationship.
I was married the first time at 20 years
old. My bride, Linda, was 16 (and no, we did not have to get
married). We were so young that the thought of death and separation
never really entered out minds until she contracted cancer the first time
at 40 years old. After some terrible effects of radiation therapy,
she underwent surgery to have the cancer removed.
She always had the fear of recurrence but
still thought she was out of danger when
nearly six years later a new doctor
believed her conditions to be psychomatic and refused her treatment.
She never told me of the problem until she was diagnosed with terminal
cancer.
Then, for the next ten years, life was a
series of dates, relationships, dances, single clubs, bars. All
failed. Business was equally bad and the series of partners in the
business world seemed to be as unfaithful and as much users as the
numerous and now-faceless series of dates.
Quite frankly, I had given up. I grew
tired of the singles scene in which women and men who were old enough to
know better continue to act as they did when they were 16 years old.
The effort just wasn't worth it.
And then I met Brooks. Almost
feline in character, she had qualities that I either did not know existed
or to which I had grown callous.
Her kindness and grace at a particularly
difficult time in my life offered the emotional support and love that I
thought I would never find. I was--and am--determined to
reciprocate.
Now, as we prepare to wed, I find myself
thinking of the vows that we will exchange. I recall the 'love, honor,
obey' of so many years ago and how empty they sound. So, we have
determined that we shall write our own vows, and here are mine:
"Where others saw failure, you saw
hope; where others cast pain, you brought healing; where others had no
faith, you believed; you brought light to a darkened existence and you
brought laughter to a saddened life. How can I but love you and
thank God for you? I cannot. I pledge to you that I shall cherish our life
together and that I shall love no one but you for the rest of our lives
together. You are my wife. And, I am your husband."
So we shall enter the Autumn and Fall
and Winter of our years. May I never forget to honor my vows. |
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