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Online
Dating can benefit Widows
Newswise, August 2010 — Online dating
profiles may serve an important role in the
grieving process, say two University of
Delaware communication professors. Their new
study, published in the August issue of the
journal “Death Studies,” chronicles how
widowed online daters use their profiles as
a place to make sense of the past while
articulating a vision of a future life.
Assistant Professor Dannagal Young and
Associate Professor Scott Caplan collected
more than 500 online dating profiles from
divorced and widowed individuals of both
sexes between 18 and 40 years old.
They examined the profiles for evidence of
healthy approaches to loss, such as
describing the backstory behind the divorce
or death of the spouse, and any attempt to
make sense of the past experience, an act
called “cognitive reappraisal.”
They found widowed daters are more likely
than divorcees to:
1.) Mention the backstory;
2.) Try make sense of/find meaning in it;
3.) Articulate a vision of their future
partnership.
In addition, those who include a backstory
are significantly more likely to describe
how the experience changed them for the
better.
The profiles of widowed daters contained
numerous references to life lessons learned,
life as a fleeting experience, and the most
important thing in life being love.
“Many surviving spouses point to a shift in
priorities and a new appreciation for the
fragility of life after their spouse dies,”
explains Caplan. “Think of it as a post-loss
enlightenment.”
In addition to meaning-finding and
sense-making, there is another factor that
correlates strongly with life satisfaction
among widows and widowers: repartnering.
“Online dating seems like a way to bring
these healthy behaviors together,” says
Young.
Young, widowed in 2006, and Caplan, divorced
in 2007, came up with the idea for the study
after entering the online dating pool
themselves.
Their results suggest creating an online
profile could play a beneficial role for
widows and widower.
